The Problem with Common Sex Positions

Problems of common sex positions??

You’re probably thinking WTF right? Think back to your last anticlimactic romp in the hay? Was it missionary or doggy-style? Did you blame yourself, your partner, or the mood? Maybe it was none of that. Maybe it was just the position you were using. Certain angles can be uncomfortable for females and rather than fixing the problem, it’s often just easier to avoid that position. If you run into that with yourself or partner, know there are solutions to the common problems people have with doggy-style, missionary sex, and so on. Ensure your partner that it doesn’t have to hurt or be boring so you can then reignite their desire. One position is worse than the other nor is one better than the other. Instead of dusting off that old Kama Sutra book and bending yourselves into pretzels (because that’s fun, not!) try changing up your lovemaking techniques instead.

The problem with missionary position is the angles. When poorly performed, missionary sex can miss all of the right spots and be pretty boring for her. What you have to do here is one of you have to move. That old adage, of just laying there, isn’t going to work. Shift your body up a little, perhaps into something more resembling the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT). The CAT position has the man bring his chest close to her shoulder. Instead of being shoulder to shoulder, the chest to shoulder position allows the shaft of the penis to rub against the clit and can bring on an orgasm. Placing a pillow under your partner’s bum, or lifting their legs up can also allow for deeper penetration and more pleasure for the lady.

Doggy-style is either a love it or hate it position. From behind, a man’s penis can go way too deep with very little effort causing discomfort in their partner. If you’re banging the head of your penis against your lady’s cervix, chances are she has said no to doggy-style once or twice or even said never again. If you’re a fan of eye contact and intimacy this may not be your favourite position either as you’re not looking directly at your partner. If you’re a guy, pulling out too far between each thrust can also quicken drying out the vagina and air getting trapped inside. Here’s a solution though: to avoid pain, dryness or accidental queefing, try short shallow thrusts without going balls-deep. If you want more intimacy try touching their body, stroking their hair and talking dirty to them while you’re at it and if you’re partner complains about being bored or unhappy about staring at the wall, set up a mirror so they can watch you from behind or turn the TV on and play their favourite porn. And if all else fails try adding a few sex toys into the mix for clitoral stimulation and ask them to focus on not reaching climax until you’re both ready to jump onto the ecstasy train together.

Men often love the cowgirl position but as a female, being on top can be a one-way ticket to insecurity town. Men, you have to understand that as females, sitting on your partner, exposed and with nothing to cover themselves up is a big turn-off for many women. Our advice is for the men here: don’t just lie there and take it. Yes, having your partner on top of you is great. Having your partner on top of you uncomfortable is not great. Make her feel sexy with your hands, mouth and words. Reach up to her breasts and neck, and bring her down for some making out while she’s riding you. Show and tell her how sexy she is on top of you. If you’re boosting her confidence, the pleasure will be all the more exciting for both of you.

Wine me, dine me, 69 me sounds like the best of both worlds for people who love to give and receive oral sex. What most don’t realize is that it’s damn hard to concentrate on giving if the receiving is mind-blowing or that it’s a turn off if your body starts to numb in a bad way.  One can be having the time of their life and the other wondering when their favourite show is on next. Here we suggest not relying on this for the big bang, but for getting each other more turned on. Maybe even try taking turns. You lick twice, your partner licks twice or whatever it is that will get you hot and bothered. Just know that with 69, practice makes perfect with this if you both want to get off.

New position or the standby position, know that if there is ever an issue, speak up and tell your partner. You should be comfortable with your partner to say this is great or this isn’t so hot, let’s try it this way. Stay alert to the sounds and movements of your partner in case anything changes. Being the considerate partner will always be a good thing for you in the long run.