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So, of course you can build your criminal empire from the ground up – though it helps if you get your start protecting the interests of, say, a Russian oligarch who wants his huge alumnium operation in Russia to become an enormous aluminium monopoly in Russia.

But at some point you will face the hard bit; not facing down or doing down the competition, not evading the watchful eye of law enforcement (which does not so much watch as wait for you to jump up and down in front of them shouting “Yo hoo! Ongoing criminal enterprise here!”. Whether you are working with the kind of girl who escorts Marbella clients, dealing arms or moving pharmaceuticals, the rules are always the same. No, the hard bit is getting away from the idiots and grunts who make your life difficult and dangerous. But who can be difficult and dangerous in their own rights.

And that is where I come in. Interruptions and disconnects.

If I had a business card or a website for this part of my business, which I obviously do not, I guess my nearest thing to a job title would be “Strategic Consultant” or perhaps “Security Consultant” might be better. Of screw it, Strategic Security Consultant. That sounds nice and professional and it is almost, sort of, accurate. In a way. Kind of. But not really.

That is not my only business. But it is the one that gives me the freedom of operation to carry on with my other activities without fear of any half arsed or even full arsed mobster sticking their noses into my affairs. It still occassionally happens that someone has not received the memo and ninety nine times out of a hundred I can make the problem go away in very short order.

But if not, then having low friends in high places is a lot better than having high friends in low places.

Maybe I should go back a little. As they say in The Sound Of Music, “Lets start at the very beginning its a very good place to start.”